EMO 2nd paper
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Nguyen Minh Chau
EMO – Undefined Term
Unintentionally, I came up with the idea about this issue after changing the topic many times. Few days ago, Demi Lovato released her brand new single which opens some sides of her rough life, that reminds me about her dark past – which I had known for years, but only since then I knew exactly such bad things was happened to her. I decided to essay this experience due to the sympathy for Demi and those people companion in misfortune. Because of the short time learning on this topic, this paper only covers some typical opinions around this phenomenon.
Until now, there is no definition for this term yet, according to many reference sources. It depends on how people think and feel, there are such differences among those ideas about this term. However there are still some exact facts that we should know:
They are quite and usually shy.
Still they have their own clique but they do not want to share everything with those friends especially their feeling which makes them strongly believe that they are alone and the world is against them.
They enjoy reading and seem to be intelligent so they usually get high mark at school, though they do not want to be singled out in class.
Although they find it hard to control their emotion, that do not mean all of them do cut themselves or tend to suicide as we may think, it just minority. If they ever do it, they would try to hide those scars and would never let anyone to see that, because they think that is a part of their lives, that is the pain and the feeling nobody should know about.
They like things that creep out people and they adore dark color. They prefer wearing dark color cloths, drying their hair black (usually long straight hair), painting their room in black, etc. They usually hide in the corner of their rooms and hate bright colors.
They want to hide themselves even with their family and there is a rule among these people: 2/5 their face must be covered by hair. They scare of looking into others eyes, because of the same reason with cutting scars, so they try to cover it up by their bang.
They easily get depressed because of unjustified matter happened to them, most of them have different issues that they cannot deal with. At the peak of depression, when they in such mental disorder they tend to hurt themselves to ease their pain.
They keen on rock music especially mental or hardcore rock.
This phenomenon is slightly different from Depression Syndrome. However, it totally separate from the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
Lately, it happens to be a common trend, and tends to increase dramatically, among teens and preps (between the ages of 11 to 19) "time for a lot of changing in psychophysiology and the emotion is hardest to control" said a psychophysi'ologist. Nonetheless, the external environment plays an important role in this case though it is still a question mark for the cause of this phenomenon. It has been years since they first conduct research on this subject, yet they found no conclusion except the 2 flow of thought continue to argue: the outer claim for those teenager who out of mere freak and segregate themselves apart from society, the inner blame on the cruel outside world where they find themselves outcaste and no one understand them.
Adult usually look down on those teenagers, they see them as a freak creature that cover up their face with hair, act in strange way, wearing unusual cloth; and of course they told their child not to play with that kind of friend; that became a solid preconception about these teenagers. At school, some friends make fun of them, mess their thing up, and even bully them when they do not respond to their joke. Other friends just ignore them, maybe they afraid of being mistreated like those poor teenagers or maybe they think it is none of their business when friends make fun of others. People only look at the capture line and do not put themselves in other's place, especially in developed countries where the individualism is dominated, they simply do not care about other except themselves. Even in a family, parents let their children learn to live independently since very young, soon then, the children create their own world. If that is such a happy family where parents care about their kids, teen would paint their world cheery and colorful; but what if that is such an unhappy one where violence, divorce exists with cold atmosphere, how teen would feel? People keep saying that there is no influence of external but the truth has proved that the society and family have an incredible impact on how teen behave and think. This is a part of the report from Family Survey Study (1996): they showed that "Independent of race, ethnicity, family structure and poverty status, adolescents who are connected to their parents, to their families, and to their school community are healthier than those who are not."
As I have mentioned before, these teenagers easily get shy and rarely talk, particularly about their own feeling and thinking, so it difficult to understand them. They have such issue that they cannot cope with, mostly in psychological development, for example: mistreated; victim of domestic violence, school violence, sexual abuse; discrimination because of illegitimate, social class, appearance, etc. or they could suffer from things we can never image of, something they cannot and do not want to tell anyone. They were too scared to think of it anymore so they do not want to say a word. Then after recovering from depression period, they start to change their way of thinking and behave, they must find another way to protect them. As a common consequence, most teen will choose to become like I have described before, which lead to an unfortunately result that they become the center of attention. Gradually, people begin to put judge on them and without doubt they get hurt from what people say which makes them feel ashamed, like they are not good enough. They believe that others hate them, they start to think negatively about life and people, and they look around wonder why people could be so happy but why they could not, they do nothing but people keep starring at them, how could people be so cruel, why did people just talk about other while they know nothing about them. They think that no one love them, no one want them because they are different, so they act in abnormal way, wearing unusual cloth, it makes them full fill their thought of they do not need anyone who do not need them, after a while they find out that other people and friend isolated them. Again, the sorrow comes back, it pushed them try to forget about things happened around, they hide themselves in darkness where nobody see them, nobody can hurt them. Therefore, they put their defenses on to hide and feel protected.
I would say that it is the 2 – side problem which need the effort from both sides to change. The outsider is so cold that they do not care about others feeling, they do not realize what they have done to such poor kids, they cannot feel the pain they inadvertently cause. Teenager claims it for the society that creates them that way, which cause so much pain for them instead of blaming themselves. They have to learn that never blame on situation because of how we decided, and we are the only one who has the right to determine how our life will be. Additionally, they have to accept the truth that it is a vicious cycle which never stops until they change their selves to the original, just like others. In my opinion, the major part is depended on the teenager themselves. Needless to say, the outsider should never be so mean to those bad luck people. Thanks to these poor people, we know how lucky and happy we are. With our strength and happiness there are such a precious things we must do is to give a hand to help them, and let them see that so many people out there with even more unhappy and disadvantage situation but still they can handle and get over it. Plus, I strongly believe that with our sympathy we can show them how beautiful life could be if they try to forget the past and live for the present; fight for what we disserve instead of hiding in the darkness.
There is a song of Celine Dion that I love most named "Live for the one I love". It says:
"Free, free to find my way, free to have my say, free to see the day. Be, like I used to be, like a wild bird free with all of life in me. Live for the one I love. Love as no one has loved. Give asking nothing in return. I love till the world wears me away. I'll die but I know my love will stay".
I honestly think it is a treasured gift of language that I would love to give to you.