Essentually

Tisha D Some days I get so frustrated...Marriage is my desire but not at the COST of Losing ME!! To settle was the mistake I made the first marriage. Now, I'm being careful and HONEST with myself! I have the ability to LOVE regardless of HIS show of affection but I realize that is a two edged sword for me. It hurts to NOT get the affection that I desire yet I can accept that MAN doesn't always know how to show affection. BUT WHEN does a MAN grow UP and learn that WOMEN need the show of affection to sustain their drive, emotions, feelings, thoughts...everything! Hold my hand, call me, text me...SOMETHING!!! I guess I'm just asking too much of a MAN! none the less, I am learning as I go and grow. PRAYING for guidance.


@Tisha D
August 4, 2011 at 12:34pm
Today I ACHE...I want the warmth of love to erase the emptiness that resides inside my heart. I want the rain drops to wash away my tears and dissipate my fears. The HUNGER that I have today has caused me to ball up into the fetal position longing for that TOUCH that soothes. The agitation overwhelms me at times but yet I maintain. No one knows by just looking at me at me that I'm ALL alone in a room full of people. I scream but NOTHINGs coming out! YELL...they can't hear me. I lay down but still they don't see me. Uhhhh!! Whats going on? I love but it doesn't return the favor. WHY??? WHEN??? WHAT??? HERE you take it and make something of it! Tell me what it ALL really is...I'm WAITING!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
May 12, 2011 at 11:31am

Heaven ONLY knows where this may lead. Heaven Only knows if its to be. A moment in time or for a Life time. Heaven Only knows. Lets not hesitate nor debate. What will be will be, it's not up to you nor me. The LOVE we have is true, WHAT WILL WE do? Heaven Only knows where this may lead. Heaven Only knows if this is meant to be, A moment in time or for a life time. Baby lets not cry this is NOT good bye. Just a new chapter in our lives. As we walk side by side with God as our GUIDE. Lets keep our eyes on the PRIZE. For...HEAVEN Only knows!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
May 2, 2011 at 12:52pm
I turn my head to see and there's a tearing of my heart ! The pains so deeply unbearable. The blood fills my lungs causing suffocation with each breathe struggled for. What I saw...a reflection of myself. A broken vessel of shattered bones and broken dreams. Always giving myself to the point of nothing left for me. The desire to be loved yet to love is not my freedom. Fear of being totally demolished. But how much further down can I go? Its like, I think that I have it all together then I see, I DON'T LIKE ME that I see. Poised like that of a lady, smile on my face, yet yearning to be embraced. Loved for who I am...but WAIT...I must love me first! So, I love my crooked smile, the scars of my face, my fully figured body, short statue, and my squeaky laugh that sometimes catches others by surprise. So, I am learning to love me...let the HEALING begin!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
September 8, 2010 at 7:18pm
Ready to get out of here to get to my mother. Its interesting how your parents care for you and then one day things turn around and its you that has to care for them. Seeds sown...its reaping time
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
September 1, 2010 at 10:32am

Smiling...Today I recall seemed so real, uncensored...unrestrained. BAM!! The wifey and kids...what the WHAT??? Two in college and one at home....second marriage...and you come to me??? LIKE I am supposed to believe the lies? Shuga PLEASE!! Yes you're an ignorant Bastard! YOU done bumped yo' head! Trying to creep into my bed! LORD....Help me to not go OFF!!! The only thing that gets better with time is age and wine...YOU are neither one! YOU can't have my time, your age should have taught to know better and you should have come with better wine...lol Corney...yeah that's me....lol But all in all...I smile....I passed the test. I had to do a few retakes but I finally passed it!! I am PISSED off! And I will stay that way until a REAL MAN can come to me with NO wifey, kids, three cars, two houses...and a dog. I want my OWN!! lol lol sorry, if you have had those things and looking to start over, then there is hope but if your going home to her every night, letting her legs wrap around yours...your finding comfort in between her thighs...OH HECK NO!! SEE there I go again! LOL Pray for me!!! LOL
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
August 15, 2010 at 10:41pm
Alright fellas you know that I kind of gives you guys a hard way to go so I have decided to do a IF from a BIG girls perspective...well really mine...YOU ready??? IF when you met me I was a PLUS size girl then why you trying to put me on a diet? Didn't you SEE I didn't get this way dieting? IF you say you like my TOP and BOTTOM cause its nice a full, then why try to starve me? They are gonna start sagging if you starve me! LOL OH and my favorite on is...IF when we are walking together and you are walking in front of me, about darn near left me and I am breathing REAL hard and heavy...BOO it ain't because I am enjoying the view...GET my inhaler and SLOW the heck down...YOU walking too fast!! LOL LOL LOL
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
August 9, 2010 at 7:24pm

Okay....IF you have GOLD, SILVER, Platinum in your mouth because you say its sexy...then KEEP it movin'!!! If yo' teeth is yellow because you smoke, party hardy or JUST don't clean them well....then KEEP it movin'. If yo' lips is chapped and dried up because yo' breath is so stank that your lips is trying to run away...then KEEP it movin'. IF I can smell you before I see you and my first response is WHAT THE H@@L...then KEEP it movin'. If you looking at me and I don't know it and you fit any of my WHAT IF's....then KEEP it movin'.

Scared…
Scared...I love so hard yet it hurts so deep. In my arms I wish to keep...the warmth of your touch, as I listen to your hearts rhythm. You calm me yet causes my heart to race. You ground me but I feel like I'm floating in space. Can't let this thing go...even tho I know...Timing is everything. I pray that I can endure as a good soldier, being about the work of my father. Preparing to be found WORKING...making ready for YOU!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
July 12, 2010 at 3:02pm
Intimacy, is it a fallacy? Wham bam thank you ma'am! WHAT tha' WHAT??? Where are the roses? Silk negligees? Romanic songs? Poems expressing your feelings? Somebody tell me...what am I doing worng? I can't seem to find intimacy!!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
June 28, 2010 at 2:41pm

You're so easy to love...often told but never applied. I am not perfect that I cannot lie. You're so easy to talk too...I do listen but I don't always hear. You're such a friendly person...To have friends you must first show yourself friendly. I can tell you anything...I am like a sponge I take it in until i can't take no more. You're like a breath of fresh air...I try to keep my environment free of trash (that's what trash bags/cans are for). It may come but I don't have to keep it!


Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
June 24, 2010 at 3:29pm

Time heals all wounds...some wounds look healed on the outside but just as soon as you bump that area there is a pain that radiates to tell others and the wounded that healing is still in progress. OUCH!!! He hurt me and I in turn did the same thing to someone that I cared for...PAIN!! WE both hurt...different wounds but all the same PAIN!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
June 15, 2010 at 10:33am
IF...you are going through a break up, separation, divorce....please let me know! I am already dealing with issues myself and to add to it right now is NOT my cup of tea. I like green mint tea....lol. IF...you want an exhibitionist then I am not GAME with that AT ALL! I may have my "likes" but that is NOT one of them. IF...you fall in love real real real fast....please don't! IT only hurts you more...and places the other person in danger! Pushes them back and you into an aimless pursuit of the unobtainable...The HEART of another. I know...trust! I loved some one that COULD and WOULD not love me...It HURTS!!! REJECTION sucks! So....IF you understand where I am coming from you will just go ahead and leave me alone unless you are truly just trying to be a friend! NOTHING more!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
April 10, 2010 at 12:58pm

I am a fighter...NO longer will I allow myself to be battered, beaten and bruised...Its not always that hand that throws the worst blow, but the tongue is mightier than a two edged sword. Words cut deep and hard. They cut as they come out and go in! Today I guard my gates...it's not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what COMES out of a man. "A fool will never be known as a fool until he speaks." Wise a serpent, gentle as a dove!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
April 6, 2010 at 5:21pm
Okay...it's been a minute since I have come up with some IF's....lol. So here is one more for you.... IF you are a man and you're NOT too sure that you are a MAN, please don't come to me to find out? I don't want to share my eyeliner, pantyhose and anything else that is mine...I want a real man! 100 proof...MAN! Handle your business MAN! NOT sexually speaking...but one that can handle his responsibilities and LOVE me too!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 17, 2010 at 6:40pm
When is there a point of NO return in a relationship? Is when you are constantly fighting, throwing things at each other, constantly bringing up the past, blaming the other person for your pains, when you can't stand to hear the voice the one that should bring you joy but only makes you cringe with dred? Is the when the other looks OH so much better? Or something else seems to occupy the time that you could spend building brigdes but yet you choose to just let them fall down? Or is when you feel sick to stomach at the just the thought of that one, who you have committed to care yet your the one who needs rescuing? To each there is a point of no return, you must measure you worth. What you will and will not tolerate anymore. Don't become the trash can or the garbage dump!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 17, 2010 at 6:33pm

Has a woman ever caught your attention with her seeming beauty and the undaunted ability to soothe then pissed you the heck off? Have you ever desired to be loved and you give your all but in the end they seem to just poops in your face? Have you ever wanted to just be embraced and all they do is slap you in the face, kick you while your down, better yet they tell you to Freak off!? No time for love, no time for caring, no time to exhale! Have you ever wondered what AM I to do to find that ONE that is JUST for me? Whats wrong with me you ask your self? Why can't I find love? To many demands to meet...got to have a car, house, job, money, be able to handle your "own". Make her happy in the bedroom, livingroom, kitchen, and laundry room! What about me? When will be my turn? What is the magic potion? Have you ever wonder, WHY CAN'T I JUST BE ME?
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 15, 2010 at 6:22pm
Today I ponder what it means to be lonely. Loneliness can drive you to crazy if you neglect the fact that the world doesn't evolve around you. There is no need to be lonely...there is too much in this world to do and to see. Too many people to get to know. No man is an island, if he were then creation would stop and evolution would be of none affect. To be lonely is a state of mind and not setting. Where you live should not hinder you from exploring the world. Your residency is just where you store your clothes, take a nap, and regroup to go out and gather more. Be your place big or small, its the end of it all. My conclusion is this...if I am lonely its because I choose not to open my eyes to see, my ears to hear and my mouth to take in all that life has to taste and offer.
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 5, 2010 at 3:47am
If you got BABY Ma'ma drama...DEAL with her and leave me be. IF you got a wife and trying to find a chick on the side...GO to JAIL! DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 200. Just keep it movin'! If you got more kids than you can count....NOT sure if they'ur babies...get it fixed! NEXT! IF you just looking for a BOOTY BUDDY...I am a lifer...WRONG ONE BOO!
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 5, 2010 at 12:18am
IF you Ain'T got a JOB!! Don't even look my way...ain't got time to feed, clothe and house a GROWN BEHIND MAN! I got my own kids to raise...and when they get to a certain age they GOT TO GO!! ITs your job to work and provide for your family, I as the female am a helpmate....I can't help nothing if you AIN'T doing nothing!! Work with me here....LOL
Tisha HYPERLINK "http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5435053900" D
February 5, 2010 at 12:14am
Reply
Forward
Delete
If your breath is stank...don't talk to me. If your teeth are yellow and plaque built up...don't smile at me. If you are missing teeth...warn a sista' I just may be able to deal with it. BUT most of all if you ain't got no teeth...warn me! PLEASE!! LOL BE real...if i got all of my fronts and most of my sides then don't you think that is just fare? YOU should too! STank breathe is NOT sexy! Yellow teeth...GIVE a girl nightmares...and NO teeth takes me back to OLD men trying to get at a girl...NOT appealing to me.