Not Quite Community.docx

Faith Scheidemantle
Dr. Mouser
ENG 202
13 May 2016
Not Quite Community
"It's not quite love and it's not quite community; it's just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team" (Keegan 1). The Opposite of Loneliness is a collection of short stories and essays which addresses the idea of the opposite of loneliness. There are three specific works in this collection which focus on how community creates this feeling: "The Opposite of Loneliness," "Reading Aloud," and "Why We Care about Whales." Keegan writes about communities that she has become familiar with in her life. It is important to notice that she uses her own experiences to create depth in both her fictional and nonfictional works. Keegan describes three types of community in her collection: college, neighborhood, and individual. In The Opposite of Loneliness, Keegan claims the opposite of loneliness is not quite community; however, she explains that community is what creates this feeling.
Community is "a unified body of individuals" (Merriam). A college community is very different from any other community. College is a time for finding oneself and experiencing adulthood for possibly the first time. In "The Opposite of Loneliness," Keegan writes the following about her college experience: "Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A capella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest night" (Keegan 1). Keegan expresses her appreciation for her college community in these few sentences. Even on her loneliest nights, she still felt as though she was a part of something bigger than herself (Keegan 1). She never felt lonely at Yale; she knew she would always have people on her team. She had a college full of people who were getting to experience years of their lives together. College created a community which allowed her to feel the opposite of loneliness. Some even argue that "The Opposite of Loneliness" is Keegan's best work: "her most affecting pieces, however, are about the members of her own generation" ("Opposite"). Keegan is able to put so much personal information into this essay that the reader is able to feel the opposite of loneliness with her.
Keegan's nonfiction essay, "The Opposite of Loneliness," is a very honest opinion of her college community. It gives readers an actual glance at Keegan's life during her years at Yale. It also reflects on how Keegan began to view her university and the people within it as her opposite of loneliness. Maybe Yale is not the opposite of loneliness, but for at least a small amount of time, it was Keegan's opposite of loneliness. The fact that this piece is nonfiction reveals a lot about the truth behind Keegan's written words. Her true thoughts about leaving Yale are written down for others to read. At Yale, Keegan feels the opposite of loneliness. She feels loved. She feels humbled. She feels scared (Keegan 4). If Keegan's piece was less honest, then it would be hard for readers to truly understand what she was feeling. Keegan explains how Yale's community became her opposite of loneliness, and her words make it undeniable that she really had found the feeling she had described in her essay.
Keegan finds the opposite of loneliness through the experiences that she shares with others in her college community. She no longer feels lonely when she is spending time with her friends and classmates. There are many times that Keegan feels the opposite of loneliness: "When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it's four A.M. and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can't remember" (Keegan 1). Her life was full of people who made her forget what it was like to feel lonely, even if it was just for a little while. It was the people in her college community who gave Keegan this feeling. She uses the collective "we" when referring to her memories: "That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt" (Keegan 1). Keegan's vague descriptions may not make sense to every reader, but they makes sense to the people who got to experience the event with her. They remember the times that they did and what they felt. Yale presented Keegan an opportunity to join a college, but it is the people in the community who are most important to helping Keegan embrace the feeling.
In "The Opposite of Loneliness," Keegan also writes about how it will feel once she has to leave her college community. She is scared to find out what the future holds away from this familiar community. Keegan writes, "This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse, I'm scared of losing this web we're in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now" (Keegan 1). Keegan has grown comfortable with her college community. She has begun to view it as the opposite of loneliness. Yale's community is the only time that Keegan has admitted she felt as though she was not alone. Even in the middle of a New Haven storm, she felt remarkably, unbelievably safe (Keegan 3). Keegan felt safe knowing that she was where she belonged. It was also the people who made her feel safe. She began to identify Yale as a place where she could feel the opposite of loneliness so, of course, she was afraid of leaving. She was afraid of losing the connections that would be strained by distance. She was afraid of feeling lonely once again. She was scared of what comes after finding the opposite of loneliness. It is a struggle to imagine living without such a feeling once it has been discovered.
Yale became the opposite of loneliness for Keegan, and she was scared to leave. In her essay, Keegan claims that the opposite of loneliness is "not quite community" (Keegan 1). The problem with this statement is that she later describes Yale's community as her opposite of loneliness. It is the feeling that she feels when she is inside of her web at Yale. She writes about her classmates as if they are a part of her, because they were exactly that. They were her opposite of loneliness, more than anything else she had found in her college community. Keegan had found people. People who understood and made her feel loved. Keegan will always feel connected to her classmates. That much is made obvious by this essay's final words: "We're in this together, 2012. Let's make something happen to this world." Keegan has found her opposite of loneliness at Yale; the people within her college community are what creates this feeling.
Community is "an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location" (Merriam). Most people are familiar with what many would call a neighborhood community. Most individuals, including Keegan, live in a neighborhood community. Keegan's piece, "Why We Care about Whales," focuses on an event that occurred within her own neighborhood community. Keegan writes about a time when people were trying to rescue about fifty beached whales outside of her Cape Cod house. This story gives readers an inside look at Keegan's opinions on community. She argues that since people are so willing to help animals that they should be just as willing to help humans. Keegan's own experience with her neighborhood community demonstrates that the opposite of loneliness can be found in some strange places.
Keegan writes about her personal experience with people coming together to help with a good cause. People are often willing to help animals. In Keegan's experience, a bunch of people from within the same community gathered on the beach early in the morning to help save some beached whales. Keegan notices that people are strange about animals (Keegan 153). She argues that while people are too busy caring about a bunch of beached whales, they are ignoring the people in need of their help. People are strange about animals because they view them as helpless beings. Keegan writes about how these enormous creatures lying in the sand are what brings together a group of volunteers. It just seems so strange to her. A community is formed over the final breath of a beached whale. While it is nice that people are able to make connections during this time they spend with their neighborhood community, Keegan also argues that they are forgetting about other people who need the opposite of loneliness as well. It can be difficult for people to realize that there are others who are looking for a community of their own. There are many helpless people who are not just lonely, but also hurting. Neighborhood communities are often able to help people within their own community who are in need of a helping hand.
Keegan addresses the idea of a disconnected community when writes about how people react to animals in need versus how they react to people in need. She questions where the people of the community are when other humans are struggling. Keegan makes a comparison of animals and humans:
"When we hear that the lady on the next street over has cancer, we don't see the entire town flock to her house. We push and shove at wet whales all day, then walk home through town past homeless men curled up on benches—washed up like whales on the curbsides. Pulled outside by the moon and struggling for air among the sewer. They're suffocating too, but there's no town assembly line of food. No palpable urgency" (Keegan 154).
Keegan is arguing that while helpless animals can create a community and bring forth the opposite of loneliness, helpless people are ignored. She struggles to understand why this situation exists in society. She feels the opposite of loneliness when she is helping people save the beached whales; however, she cannot help but think about the lonely man in a cardboard box who does not get to share the feeling, too. According to Keegan, the opposite of loneliness is a feeling of people being on the same side. If an entire neighborhood chooses to ignore the homeless man on the corner, then the man is left to experience loneliness. There is a disconnection of community. Not everyone is forming bonds and discovering the feeling that Keegan argues everyone should be experience throughout life.
Keegan's exploration of her own neighborhood community reveals some truths about humanity. She explores the emotional depths of all relationships, which include fearlessness and sensitivity ("Opposite"). Through her writing, she reveals just how vulnerable relationships can make a person. It is suggested that people are able to help animals but not humans because "fifty stranded whales are a tangible crisis with a visible solution" (Keegan 154). Often, with humans, it is hard for people in the community to know what they can do to help someone else. People need to be fearless in order to form a bond with a stranger, and people are not fearless. People do not want to think about the helplessness of others. As Keegan states, "stranded humans don't roll in with the tide—they hide in the corners and the concrete houses and the plains of exotic countries we've never heard of" (Keegan 154). Humans are not as willing to give or receive help, and this puts a strain on the community.
Keegan uses her own experience with a neighborhood community to explain how people come together to help solve a problem. Humans have perfected the ability to act as a unit (Cherry 149). Groups of people often join forces to accomplish a task. In Keegan's case, the task was rescuing some beached whales. During the rescuing process, bonds are formed between the humans. Whether or not they will see each other again in the future, they are still connected at this single moment in time. They are working together; therefore, they are not lonely. This community of people has created a unique feeling: the opposite of loneliness. Everyone involved now feels that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. The problem is that the people who are ignored in favor of helping animals instead are still feeling loneliness in their lives.
Community is "a social state or condition" (Merriam). In her fictional piece, "Reading Aloud," Keegan draws readers into the world of an older woman and a blind man. The two seem to be a very odd combination at first. However, they create a one-on-one community that seems rather fitting for both of their situations. They are both able to feel the opposite of loneliness during the time that they are able to spend together during the week. Keegan uses this fictional piece to showcase how communities are present even between two individuals. She writes about the relationship between these two characters in a way that makes it easy for the reader to understand that a strong community does not always mean that there is a large group of people in one area, but rather that a community can be a social state of mind shared between two individuals.
Anna, an older woman discovers the opposite of loneliness during the time she spends with Sam. Keegan uses two characters with seemingly nothing in common to show that sometimes a connection is made due to situational circumstances. For example, Anna's doctor has recommended that she should read to Sam. Retired people often go back to work or volunteer somewhere in order to reaffirm their sense of relevance (Cherry 86). Anna soon realizes that reading to Sam is her escape back to her younger self. Sam does not see her as an old woman, and he listens while she tells him about her past. Anna tells Sam, "I dream of the past, of things that could have happened or should have happened or never happened" (Keegan 56). Anna's husband tends to ignore her and that makes her long for the times when she used to have his attention. Sam is able to give Anna the attention that she wants. Anna finds her opposite of loneliness when she gets the opportunity to read to Sam.
Sam, a blind young man, finds the opposite of loneliness during the time he spends with Anna. Sam is not completely lonely because his mother visits every few weeks (Keegan 57). The problem is that everyone tries to make everything about Sam. They want to know what it is like to be blind and how he is doing. Sam appreciates Anna because she is different. She just sits down and reads (Keegan 57). Sam needs someone in his life who does not ask questions. Sam does not want to talk about his life, so he tends to push people away. Sam is not lonely because his mother visits, but he feels alone because no one seems to understand. When Sam meets Anna, he realizes that what he has needed all along is someone just to be there. He has needed this woman who will sit and read and talk about herself. Someone who does not ask questions or need answers. Sam finds his opposite of loneliness during the time that Anna spends reading to him.
The two people in this story no longer feel lonely when they are spending time with each other. They have both found someone who understands what it is like to be misunderstood. Anna's husband does not understand her nostalgia and Sam's friends and family do not understand his disconnection from the people in his life. Together, Sam and Anna are able to create a one-on-one community which prevents them from becoming lonely. It is a unique type of community because both characters have created a social state of mind which allows them to grow close through very little communication. Anna reads to Sam, and they somehow manage to form a bond. They no longer feel lonely since they have this new relationship.
Anna and Sam are unable to find the opposite of loneliness until they are brought together. They need the one-on-one community to feel as if they belong. Even though they are not alone on daily basis, the people they spend time with tend to make them feel as if they are alone. It is easy to feel alone when no one seems to understand. Anna is glad that she can take off her clothes and read to Sam because she feels completely free. Her old and wrinkled skin no longer holds her back from being young and beautiful. Sam is glad that Anna comes to visit because she does not ask questions. He feels as though all his family does is try to find answers when all he wants is peace. Even though Anna and Sam are a bizarre combination, they create a community that allows them to feel the opposite of loneliness.
All three types of community (college, neighborhood, and one-on-one) are able to help individuals feel less lonely. They are able to create bonds that are necessary for life: "Social life is necessary for the human species; it is as important as food, water, air, and warmth" (Millman). People feel less lonely when they are with other people, but that does not mean that they feel less alone. The feeling of being less alone comes from the connections that are made while interacting in the different types of communities. Keegan was able to feel less alone when she found herself at Yale or when she helped save whales with her neighborhood community. Keegan wrote about two individuals who were able to feel less alone through the time they spent together. All three of these stories are taken from Keegan's personal experiences. Keegan is able to capture the real depth of human emotion in all of her stories, both fictional and non-fictional. It is her own experience of the opposite of loneliness that allows her to write so honestly about it in these three pieces. The opposite of loneliness becomes present when a community is formed.
Keegan always hoped that people would be able to find the opposite of loneliness in their lives. This much is evident through her stories. She wrote about her own happiness in various communities, and she explored the happiness of others in different types of community. What Keegan does not know is that her death created a community of its own. Her essay, The Opposite of Loneliness, has been read by millions of people all around the world. People are able to find little bits of themselves in Keegan's words: "While reading the book, we see that Marina wasn't so perfect that we can't connect" (Peck). Readers are able to realize that Keegan really was just another college student, even if she was a spectacularly talented one. Keegan's works have brought people together to mourn the loss of a young woman with great potential. People are also able to relate to the stories that Keegan has written because they are able to share similar ones about themselves. There have been many articles written about the works that Keegan has left behind. The most popular work, by far, being "The Opposite of Loneliness." People are in awe of how Keegan manages to sum up all of their thoughts about how scary it can be to leave a familiar place. She also writes about how everyone has so much time left to accomplish so many great tasks. People are devastated to learn that the person who wrote such hopeful words had to leave this world so soon.
There is no word for the opposite of loneliness. The opposite of loneliness is a feeling. Keegan experienced this feeling when she was fully immersed in a college community at Yale. She experienced this feeling when she was helping save beached whales with her neighborhood community. She helped readers relate to this feeling through a one-on-one community in her fictional story of Anna and Sam. Keegan was very familiar with the opposite of loneliness. There were many times in her life when she experienced this feeling. Unfortunately, she did not get as many experiences as others have been given. Readers can only hope that wherever Keegan found herself after death, she was able to find her opposite of loneliness once again. Readers can only hope that she is humbled and scared. Hopefully she feels unremarkably, unbelievably safe. It is not quite love and it is not quite community, but hopefully the opposite of loneliness is wherever Keegan has gone.
Works Cited
Cherry, Andrew L., Jr. The Socializing Instincts. Westport: Praeger, 1994. Print.
Marina, Keegan. The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Short Stories. New York: Scribner,
2013. Print.
Millman, Dan. The Four Purposes of Life. Tiburon, CA: New World Library, 2011. Print.
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.
"The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories." ProQuest. Scribner, 15 Feb. 2014.
Web. 1 Apr. 2016.
Peck, Alice. "Borne of Forgiveness, a Young Author's First and Last Book Rings Silently
True." Daily Good. N.p., 8 Apr. 2014. Web. 9 Apr. 2016. 






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